Candid photo from Evita Colon captured while I was speaking life to her mentee and brilliant poet, Lord Eli, at Today’s MLK Breakfast. We must honor our poets as they bear the weight to help us make sense of our world.

The world’s focus is on Michelle Obama’s decision not to attend tomorrow’s inauguration—a decision that resonates deeply with me as a Black woman. Her absence has sparked widespread conversation about integrity, boundaries, and authenticity. Mrs. Obama’s decision feels like a declaration of self-respect and a refusal to perform for appearances, themes I have been reflecting on as we navigate this most recent chasm in our national conscience.

A Collision of Moments: MLK Day and the Inauguration

This week’s unique convergence of events—the inauguration falling on Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. Day—is a collision of contrasts, but in this current moment, it is calling us to more, as Dr. Imani Perry reflected:

“The juxtaposition makes clear that it is past due time to abandon the nation’s self congratulatory narrative that attends monuments and holidays in celebration of Civil Rights heroes and the larger/longer Freedom struggle of Black People. The values that led to T$&mps election are not new to this country. They existed at the founding and even prior in the Colonial period. Of course there is a destabilizing effect when there are new expressions of bigotry and venom, but the ideas and ideals are old hat. The King holiday, then, must become an occasion for people of conscience to refresh their commitments to justice and the beloved community. We literally are inheritors of a many generations old struggle. The memory of MLK Jr. is a challenge in this moment. How might we learn from his moral witness, his courage as he confronted unjust laws and hateful country-people? What might we learn from studying his ideas, and the complexities and conflicts within the movement that might provide insight for our era of the long freedom struggle?”

Her words compel us to confront the persistent disparities in our systems and question how we can genuinely honor Dr. King’s legacy. The King Center’s 2025 theme, Mission Possible: Protecting Freedom, Justice, and Democracy in the Spirit of Nonviolence, feels especially poignant as we reflect on this moment. It challenges us to envision a Beloved Community where “injustice ceases and love prevails”—a vision that feels urgently needed in today’s divided landscape.

As I reflect on this call to action, I’m reminded of the importance of grounding myself in self-soothing practices to navigate these heavy moments with clarity and intention. One of the practices I shared recently is community care circles. Although I often recommend keeping them small, this morning I had the privilege of joining a broader community at the Community Action Partnership of Lancaster County Annual MLK breakfast. There, Ijeoma Oluo’s reflections on collective liberation emphasized that a better world is possible if we dare to reimagine and rebuild it together. These reminders ground me in the belief that authenticity is not just a personal journey but a collective one—our actions ripple outward, shaping the communities around us.

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The Power of Storytelling: Lessons from Becoming

This weekend, Emma and I went down the rabbit hole of documentaries—which I love. If I am watching TV, it’s for a documentary, y’all. Together, we watched Mrs. Obama’s 2020 Becoming documentary, and I was struck again by how deeply she shares her journey of self-discovery and her unwavering belief in the power of stories to bridge divides. Her memoir, Becoming, delves into her journey of self-discovery and the challenges of staying true to her values while under public scrutiny. Her decision to skip the inauguration underscores these themes, illustrating the importance of setting boundaries and living in alignment with one’s values to protect both personal integrity and emotional well-being, as Mrs. Obama states:

We're at a crossroads of where we have to think about who are we as a nation. I remain hopeful that people want better, if not for themselves, then for the next generation."

This hope and commitment to humanity is rooted in the same spirit that Dr. King lived and preached—a spirit of resilience, justice, and faith in the goodness of people. Mrs. Obama’s actions remind me of Dr. King’s relentless pursuit of truth and equality, even in the face of immense pressure. Her model of setting boundaries and staying grounded in her values mirrors Dr. King’s teachings on nonviolence and his call to stand firmly in our convictions without compromising integrity. Just as Dr. King urged us to see the humanity in others and confront injustice with love, Mrs. Obama’s decision to say no to performative appearances underscores the importance of showing up authentically.

Nurturing the Light Within: Insights from The Light Podcast

This sentiment resonates deeply with the themes Mrs. Obama explores in the inaugural episode of The Light Podcast, titled "Kids Just Want Our Gladness," where she converses with Hoda Kotb. In this episode, Mrs. Obama emphasizes the importance of nurturing one's inner light, especially during challenging times.

In this episode, Mrs. Obama reflections on the 2017 inauguration further underscore the emotional toll of maintaining composure, especially as a Black woman. She recalls:

"But then to sit on that stage and watch the opposite of what we represented on display, there was no diversity, there was no color on that stage. There was no reflection of the broader sense of America. Many people took pictures of me and they're like, you weren't in a good mood. No, I was not. But you had to hold it together like you do for eight years…Then we went to Andrews Air Force Base, said goodbye to the military, got on Air Force One, and when those doors shut, I cried for 30 minutes straight, uncontrollable sobbing, because that's how much we were holding it together for eight years without really being able to show it all."

Mrs. Obama’s choice to skip the inauguration further demonstrates her commitment to protecting her emotional well-being and honoring her values through setting boundaries. By choosing not to attend the event, Mrs. Obama honors her feelings and maintains her integrity, demonstrating that setting boundaries is essential for personal well-being and authenticity.

Hoda Kotb’s story, shared in The Light Podcast, adds another layer of insight. She recounts how, despite fear and societal expectations, expressing her desire for children aloud created new possibilities. Kotb realized:

“If you want something, say it out loud, even just to yourself in the bathroom mirror. Say it.”

This moment of vulnerability not only transformed Kotb’s life but also expanded her understanding of the possibilities that emerge when we challenge societal narratives about whose dreams and lives matter. As Mrs. Obama highlights, "We have to all put our stories out there. We have to rewrite the story of who matters and who counts." Her words urge us to embrace vulnerability and challenge limiting narratives, expanding the spectrum of whose stories hold value.

Starting with Kindness: Lessons for Parenting and Leadership

As a parent, Mrs. Obama’s reflections on starting with kindness deeply resonate with me. In The Light Podcast, she writes about the chapter "Starting Kind," where she explores the practice of giving ourselves messages of gladness instead of focusing on criticism. She recounts a moment with her daughter, Malia, where instead of greeting her with warmth, her instinct was to point out what was wrong. She echoed Toni Morrison's sentiments about parenting, stating "Our kids just want our gladness.”

What she was evoking was a May 2020 interview Oprah did with Morrison about her novel, The Bluest Eye. Morrison’s words highlight the profound impact that our expressions of love and presence have on children. Greeting children with warmth and joy affirms their worth and models kindness, fostering an environment where they feel truly seen and valued:

“It's interesting to see when a kid walks in the room, your child or anybody else's child, does your face light up or and that's what they're looking for. When my children used to walk in the room when they were little, I looked at them to see if they had buckled their trousers or their hair was combed, or if their socks were up. And so you think your affection and your deep love is on display because you're caring for them. It's not when they see you, they see the critical face. What's wrong now? But then, if you let your, as I tried from then on, to let your face speak what's in your heart. Because when they walked in the room, I was glad to see them. It's just as small as that.”

In my own parenting journey, I often notice how the weight of the world or my own self-criticism can affect how I interact with my children. When I catch myself correcting them before leading with love, it serves as a reminder to pause and reflect—not just with my children, but with all the young people I meet.

The Mission is Possible

Mrs. Obama’s actions and reflections remind us of the power of authenticity, boundaries, kindness, and storytelling. They also echo the King Center’s Mission Possible theme, urging us to protect freedom, justice, and democracy through intentional, values-driven action. They challenge us to honor our true selves, make choices aligned with our values, and navigate societal pressures with grace and integrity.

As we move forward, let’s consider how we can incorporate these lessons into our daily lives. How can we stay steadfast in our beliefs, even when external expectations press against us? How can we uplift others in their journeys toward authenticity? Michelle Obama’s example calls us to reflect, act, and create a world where we all thrive, just as Rev. Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. envisioned—a world built on justice, love, and truth.

Join Emma and me in this week's podcast as we delve deeper into these themes, exploring the themes of resilience, justice, and nurturing our light in the face of adversity. Subscribe, so you can see us every Wednesday live and in action.