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I See You Black Woman: 10 Practices for Self-Soothing and 20 Instagram Influencers to (Re)claim Calm Amidst Political Chaos

TLDR: As a Black woman, there is so much I want to say about navigating the stress of this election season, especially to other Black women. Here, I explore how relentless political ads and the discrediting of Black leaders like Vice President Kamala Harris affect us personally while offering 10 self-soothing practices and highlighting 20 Instagram influencers for collective healing. It's a reminder to move from resisting oppression to envisioning and building a liberated future—together.

This election season feels heavier than ever. Relentless political ads bombard us with fearmongering messages designed to manipulate voters, and we are witnessing a historically expensive election cycle totaling over $16 billion. But beyond the noise, there is a deeper, more troubling reality: the blatant discrediting of Black and Brown individuals in positions of power, such as Vice President Kamala Harris. These attacks are not just political—they strike at the core of identity and belonging. These attacks aren't just political—they are deeply personal.

As a Black woman navigating intersecting systems of racism and sexism, I understand the harm of being discredited, scrutinized, and reduced to a trope, no matter my qualifications. I've experienced my own successes being dismissed as mere "affirmative action," echoing the rhetoric used against VP Harris as a "DEI hire." This gendered racism reflects a broader societal trend of undermining the contributions of historically marginalized individuals, adding stress and reinforcing the constant threat of erasure of our voices and achievements. The dismissal of VP Harris' credentials is a painful reminder that for Black women, no matter our achievements, dehumanization is always lurking.

As Dr. Thema Bryant highlights in her book, Homecoming: Overcome Fear and Trauma to Reclaim Your Whole, Authentic Self, many of us are pressured to work twice as hard (and often ten times harder) to prove our worth in a world that frequently denies it. This pressure feels even greater during this election season.

However, advocacy groups like #WinWithBlackWomen, a collective of Black women leaders across various fields, offer a vital counternarrative. Spearheaded in August 2020 by social-impact strategist Jotaka Eaddy, #WinWithBlackWomen is a coalition of influential Black women from various sectors, including politics, sports, and the arts. The group gained national attention in July 2024 by raising $1.5 million for VP Harris's campaign on the day she announced her candidacy, hosting a Zoom call that attracted 44,000 participants. Their weekly Sunday-night meetings have been instrumental in organizing rapid responses to significant events, such as advocating for Brittney Griner's release in 2022 and supporting Ketanji Brown Jackson's Supreme Court nomination. The group's actions are rooted in the historical tradition of Black women's clubs and organizations dedicated to a community uplifting and combating racism and sexism.

Their work amplifies the accomplishments of VP Harris and counters the misinformation aimed at discrediting her. #WinWithBlackWomen embodies the power of collective action, emphasizing that VP Harris is not a savior but a representation of possibility and progress. Their advocacy underscores the belief in lifting each other up, ensuring that Black women everywhere are seen, heard, and celebrated for their resilience and leadership.

The dismissal of VP Harris' credentials feels like a dismissal of all of us who have fought to be heard and taken seriously in spaces that were not made for us. This is why the collective action embodied by #WinWithBlackWomen is so critical. Their advocacy is about more than resisting the racist and sexist attacks on Black women—it’s about uplifting one another and creating spaces where we can thrive.

In times of challenge, it’s easy to fixate on what we are resisting. We often find ourselves engrossed in the struggle against the systems and individuals who create harm and division, but Dr. Shawn Ginwright encourages us to shift our focus from what we are against to what we are for. What if we envisioned and fought for the liberated world we long for, rather than letting our vision be dominated by dignity-violating actions? What if we honored our humanity and fought for what makes us whole and healed, rather than letting hatred disconnect and numb us from (re)claiming our full, authentic selves?

A Vision Beyond Resistance

Resistance is necessary—it has always been necessary. Dr. Eddie Glaude's recent essay draws on the lessons of Civil Rights leader Bob Moses to emphasize this truth. Moses often spoke about the significance of the Civil Rights Act of 1960, not because it solved everything but because it opened space for organizing. However, Moses also warned us against placing too much hope in electoral politics. He pointed out that when the goal becomes solely about getting someone elected, movements can lose their momentum. Winning often demobilizes the movement, while losing can lead to demoralization. Elections, he argued, should be viewed as part of a broader strategy, rather than the ultimate goal.

This election season, Glaude reminds us of the dangers of focusing only on what we fear—"the diabolical circus clown," as he calls it—and missing the opportunity to build what we want. He speaks of voting for VP Harris as an act not of placing all hopes in a candidate but as a practical move to keep open the space for organizing and fighting for a different kind of society. It is about being clear on what and who motivates our politics: cultivating a more just world.

Ella Baker, a tireless organizer and brilliant strategist, shared this perspective. She believed in the power of grassroots organizing and emphasized that “strong people don’t need strong leaders;” instead, they need the tools and support to recognize the power within themselves. Baker’s work, often behind the scenes, ensured that ordinary people had the tools to participate in the fight for justice. Thus, Baker and Moses both recognized that movements must be built on the strength of the collective action of the people, not on the success of any one politician.

Moreover, Glaude recalled the work of James Baldwin, who emphasized that voting is a "coldly calculated risk, a means of buying time." This is not because elections solve everything, but because they create space to keep imagining, striving, and building for transformative change. This perspective resonates with what Ginwright urges us to remember: We cannot only focus on what we are fighting against, but we must put our collective energies toward clearly articulating the liberated world we want to inhabit.

The Power of Grounding through Self-Soothing Practices

Instead of letting fear and divisiveness dominate the narrative, what if we made space for our visions of love and justice to lead us? Resistance is necessary, but let us also tap into the power of imagination. Let us reimagine the world we are fighting for—a world where we can thrive in our authenticity, where love triumphs over hatred, and where healing and growth are prioritized.

In My Grandmother's Hands: Racialized Trauma and the Pathway to Mending Our Hearts and Bodies, Resmaa Menakem reminds us of the importance of connecting with our "soul nerve"—a deep, visceral part of ourselves that carries both trauma and resilience. By grounding ourselves physically, we allow our bodies to process stress and fear, making room for imagination and collective healing. In a world that has taught us to ignore or mistrust our bodies due to systemic oppression, Menakem’s teachings help us remember that imagination and freedom begin in the body. Therefore, reconnecting to our bodies can help release tension and foster liberation. To support this process, Menakem offers Five Anchors for healing and resilience:

Anchor 1: Soothe
The first anchor encourages calming your body, mind, and heart. This can be done through deep breathing, pausing before reacting, or using calming actions like petting an animal or sitting quietly. The goal is to create a sense of safety, spatial awareness, and stability, which allows you to respond from the best parts of yourself rather than react to stress.

Anchor 2: Simply Notice
This anchor involves bringing mindful awareness to the sensations, vibrations, and emotions in your body without judgment or reaction. By noticing details like the feeling of your feet on the ground or tension in your shoulders, you cultivate awareness of your bodily experience. Naming each sensation helps you stay present without being overcome with emotions or thoughts.

Anchor 3: Accept
This anchor is about accepting discomfort and being aware of when it shifts, instead of avoiding it. Accepting discomfort as a protective response and not a defect helps diminish its intensity over time. This practice builds your natural resilience and allows you to remain present with challenging emotions until they subside.

Anchor 4: Stay Present
Anchor four focuses on staying present in your body through the ambiguity and uncertainty of challenging experiences. This means bringing yourself back to the here and now, especially when your mind focuses on the future, the past, or negative thoughts. It involves acting from your best self and remembering that each moment presents a new opportunity to realign with your values.

Anchor 5: Safely Discharge
The final anchor involves releasing any residual energy remaining in your body after a stressful situation. Discharging energy can be done through exercise, sports, dancing, singing, or other physical movements. The goal is to prevent the build-up of stress in the body by metabolizing it out of your body to help maintain both physical and emotional equilibrium. 

These five anchors help us stay grounded while striving for the world we envision, so we can take care of our emotional and physical well-being. To support us in staying anchored, here are ten tools for self-soothing to honor our natural resilience and (re)claim our relationship with our bodies as sites of strength and wisdom:

  1. Soothing Touch: Wrap your arms around yourself, place your hand over your heart, or rest a hand over a part of your body where you feel tension. You can also try saying, "I am here for you," to build a supportive relationship with yourself. This simple act can provide comfort and signal safety to your nervous system.

  2. Grounding: Focus on the present by identifying five (5) things you can see, four (4) things you can touch, three (3) things you can hear, two (2) things you can smell, and one (1) thing you can taste. This technique helps bring awareness to the now. Bonus: Light a candle to bring greater awareness. 

  3. Mindful Movement: Engaging in activities like gentle rocking, swaying back and forth, yoga, stretching, dancing, or Qi Gong (an ancient Chinese practice that combines movement, meditation, and controlled breathing) can help you stay connected to your body and reduce anxiety

  4. Making the Voo or Om Sound: Making the 'voo' or 'om' sounds can stimulate the vagus nerve by regulating our parasympathetic nervous system, thereby promoting a sense of relaxation and grounding

  5. Box Breathing: Inhale for 4 seconds, hold for 4 seconds, exhale for 4 seconds, and hold again for 4 seconds. This can help calm your nervous system and promote relaxation.

  6. Neutral Body Focus: No matter how distressed your body feels, there is always one part of it that's neutral or calm that can help ground you. It could be a toe, an arm, or even your left earlobe. Scan your body from head to toe, looking for a part of you that feels neutral, comfortable, or calm. When you find it, no matter how small, shift your attention there and imagine you also have a set of nostrils in this neutral zone. With each inhale, focus on your breath, from your real and imaginary nostrils, and feel the sensation of how your breath from each origin meets at your diaphragm, or what we will identify as our chi (life energy). To me, chi is God and the Light that remains on the inside of me—regardless of the darkness of this world. Imagine each inhale as Supernatural Light traveling to your abdomen, swirling brilliantly. Now, with each exhale, imagine this same Light flowing into all the areas of your body—the parts that may be tense and closed off to the Light. Continue this breathwork until your body feels fully grounded, revitalized by the flow of Light and Love.

  7. Journaling: Write down the most challenging time in your life and the resources (people, ancestors, faith, personal values, and strengths) you had to draw on to make it through. How can you draw on these same resources to help you now? What kept you grounded then and what can help you stay grounded now? What was necessary for survival and what survival responses and adaptations still serve you today? Which ones no longer serve you? Journaling can be a powerful tool to help you acknowledge systemic barriers while also helping you reframe your stories to see how you not only resisted but persisted as an active participant in your journey toward liberation and self-determined solutions.

  8. Affirmations: Use affirmations like, "I am grounded, I am not alone, and I am worthy of care." Affirmations can be powerful tools to counter internalized narratives of unworthiness or productivity-based value with self-compassion by affirming our inherent worth. Bonus: Say these affirmations outdoors to connect with nature and remind yourself of the beauty, magic, and miracles all around us because this same awe and wonder exists within you.

  9. Community Care Circles: Connect with others in small groups, whether in person or virtual, to share experiences, support each other, and create collective strategies for well-being. These circles can be spaces to discuss how systemic issues impact your mental health and explore ways to support each other in building your natural resilience. Community care is a radical departure from the individualism oppressive systems often promote.

  10. Ancestral Visualization: Visualize yourself a few months from now—at peace, safe, and having navigated this moment. To deepen this practice, reconnect with your ancestral roots by imagining the strength and resilience passed down through generations to honor the lineage of survival and thriving. Take this ancestral power and imagine yourself as part of a liberated, thriving future community that is contributing to a future shaped by Black joy, resilience, and innovation that is rooted in a collective future of justice, creativity, and freedom. This practice helps you see your struggles as interconnected and reinforces the idea that personal healing is part of a larger movement toward collective liberation. Bonus: Light a candle to honor your ancestors. 

Instagram Resources for Self-Soothing, Natural Resilience, and Liberation

In addition to the practices mentioned, here are 10 inspiring individuals I follow on Instagram who share valuable insights and practices for self-soothing, natural resilience, and liberation to help you in this current moment:

  1. @blackfemaletherapists: Connects followers with licensed Black female therapists and provides resources to normalize mental health conversations, while serving as a community for collective healing and personal growth​

  2. @blackliturgies: Offers beautiful prayers, reflections, and reminders that uplift the spiritual and emotional well-being of historically marginalized communities. Created by @colearthurriley.

  3. @bodyfulhealing: Jennifer Sterling offers holistic and body-based support primarily for Black women challenging societal pressures like the "strong Black woman" stereotype

  4. @decolonizingtherapy: Dr. Jennifer Mullan shares reflections, tools, and conversations that help individuals heal from generational trauma, navigate systemic oppression, and reclaim their mental wellness

  5. @dr.thema: Shares wisdom on healing, self-compassion, and reminders of our inherent value and resilience with a focus on overcoming trauma and reclaiming authenticity

  6. @dranitaphillips: Blends mental health, spirituality, and cultural insight to guide us toward emotional wellness by helping you navigate trauma, embrace vulnerability, and build resilience, all while holding space for faith and authenticity

  7. @iamrachelricketts: Content includes guidance on "spiritual activism," mindfulness practices, and community care, promoting a holistic approach to justice and self-care

  8. @kobecampbell_: Posts provide mental health insights, personal reflections, and faith-based encouragement, aimed at helping followers understand and break painful cycles

  9. @lexyflorentina: Content includes reflections on nervous system health, trauma recovery, and self-compassion to help experience greater presence, safety, and healing

  10. @nedratawwab: Shares wisdom on setting healthy boundaries, prioritizing mental wellness, and embracing personal growth. Follow for practical tips, empowering affirmations, and guidance on creating the life you deserve.

  11. @ohhappydani: Danielle Coke Balfour uses colorful illustrations to inspire social justice, empathy, and hope to encourage followers to engage in daily acts of good and promotes a hopeful, justice-oriented mindset

  12. @prentishemphill: Shares wisdom around embodiment, healing, and connection, helping us stay grounded in the present moment. Prentis is also the co-founder of @the.embodiment.institute.

  13. @rachel.cargle: Explores the intersections of race, feminism, and grief by inviting critical reflection, nurturing self-care, and encouraging community healing rooted in social justice

  14. @raquelmartinphd: Shares practical, relatable mental health insights, focusing on the intersection of race and emotional well-being, particularly for Black communities

  15. @seasoned_dialogue: Lisa Marie Lovett uses spoken word to foster growth, healing, and spiritual and faith-based growth

  16. @thenapministry: Founder Tricia Hersey advocates for rest as a form of resistance, particularly in challenging times

  17. @therapyforblackgirls: Provides accessible mental health resources, including tips for managing stress and anxiety. Founded by, Dr. Joy Harden Bradford @hellodrjoy.

  18. @tmlgwriter: Tracey Michae’l Lewis-Giggetts explores themes of Black joy, healing, and resilience to encourage followers to embrace joy as a form of resistance

  19. @wetheurban: Founder Willie Greene provides affirmations, visual reminders, and reflections centered on self-love, healing, and community care

  20. @yasminecheyenne: Helps you create a life of ease through practical self-healing tools and soulful reflections. Discover ways to nurture your well-being, embrace joy, and deepen your connection to yourself.

3D Power Tools Framework: Discover, Discern, Determine

As always, I believe my 3D Power Tools Framework: Discover, Discern, and Determine can help us navigate challenging times, like this election season. Here are some action steps to help apply this framework in our journey toward collective liberation:

1. Discover

  • Reflect on Narratives: Take the time to discover the stories and narratives that drive your fears and influence how you see yourself, others, and the political landscape. Ask yourself how these stories are serving you now.

  • Grounding Practice: Use grounding exercises such as the ten strategies above to help you stay present and centered as you reflect

2. Discern

  • Clarify Values: Discern which of your values are guiding your actions. Identify the core values that motivate you, such as justice, equity, and love. Evaluate whether your actions are aligned with these values.

  • Mindful Consumption: Practice discernment by limiting news and social media consumption. Choose specific times to check the news, and avoid excessive scrolling that could heighten stress and anxiety.

3. Determine

  • Take Courageous Action: Determine how you can take meaningful, values-aligned action during this election season. Voting is one of the most courageous and civic acts we can do. Additional acts might mean supporting a community cause, engaging in state and local politics, or having conversations that promote understanding and empathy. 

  • Community Engagement: Engage with your community by sharing these self-soothing practices or organizing grounding sessions. Building on our collective resilience and determination helps us all stay aligned with our vision for a better future.

What Are We Fighting For?

Black woman: I see you, and I honor your journey. At this moment, when the weight of this election season feels overwhelming, I invite you to pause and reflect. What does the world you want to build look like? What values will drive your actions as you work toward them? Despite the relentless attacks and the constant need to prove our worth, let’s remember that our power lies not only in resistance but also in creation. Our resilience doesn’t just come from fighting back—it also comes from envisioning and bringing to life the liberated future we deserve.

This doesn’t diminish the urgency of the battles we face or the fears that weigh on us. Instead, it enhances our vision by giving us something worth striving for: a future where our voices are amplified, our dignity is upheld, and our power is fully recognized. We are not alone in this journey. Together, we can lift each other, nurture each other, and remind one another that we do not carry this burden alone.

Our fight is not just against oppression, but it’s for our liberation. Not just against fear, but it’s for our courage to be seen and heard. Not just against exclusion, but it’s for a deep sense of belonging that honors our whole selves. Not just against apathy, but it’s for a future built on personal and collective agency. Together, we have the power to shape a new world—one where our humanity is celebrated, our stories are honored, and our collective liberation is prioritized—just as our ancestors imagined.

Additional Resources

Looking for additional resources, including books, podcasts, and self-assessments? Gain access to my curated list to help you discover, discern, and determine the kind of human you want to be to change your world. Grab it HERE.